


The Lion and the Flower

by xStephyG



Series: The Flower [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Masturbation, Romance, Sexual Inexperience, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:12:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 15,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4233429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xStephyG/pseuds/xStephyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The stories of Evie Trevelyan, Cullen Rutherford, and the boundless love they share for one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Magic

**Author's Note:**

> The quality of the writing varies greatly from chapter to chapter as these were all written as one-shots, out of order, over the course of a year having never written anything before.

“Max!” Evie ran after her older brother as fast as her legs could carry her. He had promised she could come along this time but he had left without her.

“Evie, go home!” Max shouted over his shoulder, not stopping. He didn’t need his ten year old sister tagging along while he and his friends went into the city. Not only would she slow them down, he would have to watch after her and he wouldn’t be able to have any fun.

Evie hopped over some exposed roots, doing her best of catch up with Max to avail. Not only was she in a rather unwieldy jumper Mother insisted she wear but, Max’s fourteen year old legs could carry him much faster than hers. “But you promised!” It wasn’t fair!

“I don’t want you around, Evie! My friends don’t want you around, either! Now GO HOME!” Evie stopped in her tracks, her little hands balling into fists at her side. She could feel the anger building inside her. Why couldn’t he just be nice to her for once?

“You’re always so mean to me! I never did anything to you! Why do you-” Evie words faltered as she felt an energy like never before coarse through her. She watched wide-eyed and terrified as the grass around her feet froze over. Her entire body was shaking and there was a light coming from her fists. What was happening!?

Max heaved an exasperated sigh when he heard his sister stop her bellowing. What game was she playing at now?  _Best go check on her lest Mother and Father yell at me for letting her get a scraped knee or other such nonsense_ , he thought.

Finally turning to his sister, Max gaped at the sight before him. Evie stood petrified in the middle of a ring of ice. Her normally pale skin was a ghostly white and her small frame was trembling uncontrollably.

Max practically fell over himself running to Evie’s side. Stopping just a foot in front of her, Max couldn’t believe his eyes. He knew of magic from the Chantry’s teachings and had one day hoped to see it first hand but he never thought it would be from his sister!

“Evie… Evie, look at me.” Evie raised her green eyes from the icy ground to meet her brother’s. Max had never seen her look so scared; his heart ached at the idea that this was his fault.

“Come here.” Max beseeched. When she didn’t budge, he lifted a hand to her but she flinched away. “I’m not going to hurt you, Evie. Come on, take my hand and we’ll go home.”

Evie pulled her hands up to her chest, shrinking away from Max. “I-I-I don’t w-w-want to h-h-hurt you, Max.” She stammered, helplessly.

Max did his best to offer her a reassuring smile. “I can take it.” When she still didn’t take his hand, he moved forward. Taking careful steps across the ice, he closed the gap between them.

Evie recoiled in an instant. She didn’t know what was happening or why or even how! What if she harmed him? What if she  _killed_  him!?

A pathetic sob fell from her lips as Max wrapped his hand around her wrist. He held his breath for a moment, waiting to see if he would be frozen solid. When nothing happened, he pulled Evie into his arms; giving her a tight hug.

“I’ve got you, Sister. You’re safe.” Scooping her up into his arms, Max held his baby sister close to his chest as he carried her the whole way home; trying to stifle her tears with bad jokes and poorly sung songs.


	2. Sedate, Indeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evie's last night in the Circle.

“What’s happening?” Evie woke in the middle of the night to a shout in the hall and now one of the Circle’s Templars stood in her doorway.

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with, Lady Trevelyan. Just stay in here and keep the door locked. Do not open it for anyone but myself or the Knight-Commander.” He was out of breath and looked terrified. She had never seen any of the Templars look so worried. And telling her to lock her door? That was against the rules.

Another shout pulled his attention away. “Lock the door.” With that he slammed the door shut, leaving Evie alone with her questions. Another shout and she leapt from her bed, locking the door as instructed.

She would obey his order. She had never disobeyed the Templars before and she wasn’t about to start now. Whatever it was they could handle it. Her battle magic wasn’t that strong, anyways. She was more useful with healing spells. If they needed a healer they would have asked.

A shriek like she had never heard before rang out and before she knew it she was running down the hall toward the sound. There were bodies of mages and Templars alike in the halls. She kept her eyes focused ahead, she couldn’t help them now but maybe she could help the owner of that scream.

She reached the great hall only to find chaos. Mages and Templars clashing on both sides. Steel on steel, spell to spell. What was happening!?

A mess of red robes and blonde hair caught her attention a few feet away. Lydia!

Evie ran to her mentor’s side just as one of her fellow apprentices walked away, bloodied blade in hand. She knelt to Lydia’s side, rolling her over gently.

“Evie dear, you were told to stay in your room.” Lydia’s voice was softer than usual, her bright blue eyes were dulled, her red robes darkening from the wound in her stomach.

“I heard a scream. I wanted to help.” Evie’s voice trembled as she took in the site of her only friend. “Don’t speak, I can heal you.” She moved her hands to the wound but before she could start a armoured hand grasped her shoulder.

She turned, panicking for just a moment. Standing over her was the Knight-Commander and the Templar from before.

“Get her back to her room. See that no one enters until this madness has ended.” She was hauled to her feet and pulled away, leaving Lydia and the fighting behind.

“I can help.” Evie protested as she looked back. Lydia was still now. Her eyes closed, her chest unmoving. Evie felt the sting of tears. Lydia had always been there for her. Even when her fellows ignored her. She taught Evie everything she knew. She was like a second mother to her.

“You can help by staying alive, my Lady.” She was gently pushed back into her room and the door shut in her face.

She stood alone now, the sounds from the great hall muted by the walls and distance. She fell to her knees and cried.

What in all of Thedas had happened?


	3. New Armour

“Flowers?” Evie’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she looked down at the rose-embossed leather jerkin she held in her hands. She’d never had custom armour before, any armour she’d ever worn was from the Circle. She had always wanted something like the leathers that had just been presented to her.

“Yer always wearin’ that scarf. Seemed right.” Harritt replied with a casual shrug. He turned back to the forge then, pretending not to notice the jubilation on the young Herald’s face.

“I- Thank you. It’s beautiful.” Evie replied quietly, running her fingers over the leather petals. She hadn’t expected something so thoughtful from the smithy. They had only spoken a few times and the discussions were always brief and almost exclusively about armour and weapon forging.

“Least I could do.” Harritt mumbled as he continued working. He watched from the corner of his eye as Evie stared down at her new armour, a glowing smile on her face. When she looked up at him, he turned his focus back to his task, ignoring her as she fumbled over another thank you.

After a few more stammered thank you’s, Evie gathered the rest of the armour and headed back to her cabin to change into it right away. She just couldn’t wait to show off her brand new, custom armour.

As she walked away, Harritt turned and watched with an amused grin as the girl practically skipped to Haven’s main gates. “She’s a good kid. Hope she makes it through this.”


	4. To Kill a Man

They heard the shouts of the Inquisition’s soldiers just across the field and rushed to help. Two men in tattered robes stood across from the soldiers. Cassandra rushed the spellbinders without hesitation while Solas and Varric began their attacks from afar. Evie stood frozen. Her eyes on the men before her.

Why were they attacking? Did the soldiers attack first or did they? Who were they? Had they been Circle mages? They must have been. Were they just trying to survive now? Maybe they had friends nearby they were trying to protect?

“Herald! Don’t just stand there! Help us!” Cassandra’s cry broke Evie from her trance. She pulled her staff from her back and began casting. A barrier for the soldiers and Cassandra first then her focus turned back to her fellow mages.

She couldn’t. How could she kill a man? She was a healer. A helper. She’d never taken a life. She never wanted to. Demons were one thing but a man? A man can change. He can see the error of his ways and become something new, something more.

“HERALD!”

Evie closed her eyes and began again, throwing fire in their direction. Perhaps she could just distract them. She could help without having to take a life. That would be enough, wouldn’t it? But could she live with herself knowing she  _helped_  to take a life?

“Whoa, now. I think you got ‘em.” Varric joked.

Evie opened her eyes and looked to the place where the spellbinders once stood. The ground was aflame and one of the corpses was riddled with bolts while the other was charred beyond recognition. Solas favoured ice in his spells meaning…

Evie turned from the scene before her. Her ears were ringing, her vision going white, her stomach churning.

All she had ever wanted was to help and now she had killed a man.


	5. The Green-Eyed Templar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen's jealous.

Cullen grumbled again at the sound of the Herald’s laughter. She had been speaking with one of the young Templar recruits, Ser Rikard for nearly an hour now and the conversation looked as though it would never end. He kept telling himself he didn’t have any right to be jealous; she didn’t belong to him. There had been some flirting - he thinks - but that didn’t mean she was taken. Her exuberant giggle rang out again making him grit his teeth. He should be the one on the receiving end of that heavenly sound, not this  _Ser Rikard_! Before he realised what he was doing, he stalked over to the pair. “Herald, excuse me? I’m sorry to interrupt but you are needed at the Chantry.”

Evie’s sparkling eyes met his, a smile still on her lips. “Oh, thank you Commander. I’ll go right away.” She turned back to Rikard. “It was very nice speaking with you, Ser Rikard.”

“It was my pleasure, Lady Trevelyan.” Rikard flashed her a handsome grin as he spoke. Cullen watched as Evie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and stumbled backward before making a hasty retreat.

Cullen’s gaze moved back to the Templar beside him; who was watching Evie jog off, still grinning. He seemed a good man, with a good record, but that didn’t make his motives pure. She was a mage and he was a Templar!  _And what’s the difference between him and you?_ , he asked himself.

“Is there something I can help you with, Commander?” Rikard asked, with a raised brow and pompous smirk. It was quite clear to him that the Commander felt threatened by him and he found it very amusing.

“No. The Herald was needed at the Chantry and I was asked to deliver the message.” Cullen scowled at Rikard.

“Really? Because if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were jealous of the attention Evelyn was giving me.” He taunted, smugly.

Evelyn? Cullen snorted at Rikard’s words. Even if Cullen  _was_  jealous it was none of his business.

“The Herald is very important to m- our cause. I’m simply looking out for her. It’s what a good Templar does for a mage.” Cullen put extra emphasis on his last statement, taking a pointed look at the blazing blade of mercy on Rikard’s chest plate.

Rikard glowered at the Commander. How dare he? This wasn’t the Circle and Evie wasn’t one of his charges. If Rikard wished to speak with her – to flirt with her - he had every right!

The two men glared at each other. The air around them was thick with testosterone as they puffed out their chests, each trying to intimidate the other into submission.

After finding out that there was no one at the Chantry that needed her, Evie headed back toward the pair of men; perhaps Cullen had been mistaken. However before she could get back to them Varric grabbed her arm, anchoring her in place beside him. “Don’t interrupt.” He ordered. His gaze shifted between the two Templars before him, looking absolutely tickled by the scene.

Evie looked down at the dwarf, utterly confused. “Interrupt what?” They were just staring at each other and they didn’t look happy. Perhaps interrupting was the best course of action.

Varric chuckled, shaking his head. “If I have to explain it to you, Sunflower then you aren’t ready to know.”

Evie opened her mouth to argue but before she could get a word out Rikard stormed off with a huff, leaving Cullen looking rather pleased with himself.

Cullen turned to go back to his men after his victory when he spotted Evie and Varric. All the colour drained from his face when he saw her puzzled expression and Varric giving him a thumbs up. She hadn’t seen that, had she? Cullen ducked his head, trying to avoid meeting her eye and rushed back to his sparring soldiers. If the Maker was kind, He would see that she never brings this up.

“Can you please explain what that was about, Varric?” Evie begged once Cullen was gone.

“You really have no clue?” Evie just kept staring at him, not a hint of understanding on her face. Varric sighed, shaking his head again. “Like I said, if you need me to explain it to you then just aren’t ready to know.” He gave her a warm pat on the back before walking away himself, leaving Evie alone with more questions than she knew what to do with.


	6. Realisation

Cullen knocked on the door of Evie’s cabin, report in hand. He needed her to explain something. Why were there two pages on bears in here?

No answer. He was sure she was there. Varric had seen her enter only moments before. Perhaps she hadn’t heard him knock?

Still no answer. Asleep maybe? She had just returned and from her description of the bears she would be tired. Or what if something had happened? There were still some who blamed her for the Conclave. If they gotten into the camp they would make an attempt on her life.

Decided, he opened the door slowly. It scraped across the floor leading him into a small entry way, a partition blocking his view of the cabin’s main living room.

“Who’s there?” Not asleep it seems

“Commander Cullen, Herald. Are you alright? I knocked but you didn’t answer.”

“Oh, I didn’t hear. I’m uh… in the middle of something. Is it important?” He should leave her be but when would be the next time he had time to get this sorted out?

Stepping around the wall while still looking at the report he answered, “It’s about your report. I don’t understand why- Andraste’s knickers! I’m so sorry!”

Standing in the middle of the cabin was the Herald completely bare save for the tunic she had clutched to her chest. He turned quickly, fixing his gaze to the ceiling.

“Forgive me I shouldn’t have entered without your permission. I should go.” He was stammering

“Wait, just give me a moment ” Maker why!?

The sound of fabric rustling and whispered mumblings followed. He should just go. This could wait until she wasn’t so… so exposed!

“Alright, you had a question about my report?“ Cullen was frozen in place. He was fairly certain this was some sort of cosmic joke. A Templar walking in on a mage while she’s changing? A beautiful young mage, with long shapely legs, perfectly round hips, creamy white skin that looked so soft he wanted to run his hands over every inch of it. So very, very soft…

“Commander…?” Cullen snapped out of his reverie and turned to face her again. Her tunic was half buttoned leaving an expanse of skin from the hollow of her throat to the middle of her breasts exposed, her trousers were hastily tied, her hair a mess and her cheeks bright red. Sweet Maker she was breathtaking.

“I um.. I wanted to ask why… that is to say… if you… were unharmed?“ Something about… bears? Cullen’s mind was in shambles. He should have gone.

“…I’m fine… why do ask?” He’d never come to check on her before?

“That’s good to hear. Well I should let you get back to…“ He gestured in her vague direction before turning on his heel and practically running from her cabin. He didn’t stop until he reach his tent, tossing the report on his desk and laying back on his cot.

Groaning into the arm, he cursed Andraste for being so cruel as to send them a saviour like her. Fiery red hair, gentle green eyes and now he knew her skin was as white as the full moon and longed to know if it really was as soft to touch as it seemed.

Evie flopped face down on her bed cursing the Maker for putting her here with him. Curly golden hair, brown eyes that shone like the sun and a boyish smile that melted her heart. But he was the Commander and a former Templar. He couldn’t possibly see her as anything more than one of his charges.

* * *

 

Evie stood with Cassandra planning their next trip to the Hinterlands when her eyes wondered to Commander Cullen standing a few feet away. He would give himself whiplash turning his head so quickly.

“Cassandra, why would the Commander be so embarrassed about walking in on me changing? It was an accident and I can’t be the first mage he’s walked in on? He was stationed in the Circle for years.”

Cassandra glanced at the Commander who quickly turned his attention away again. A knowing smile pulling at her lips.

“You will have to ask him that.”

Maybe she would. It was the professional thing to do, after all. They needed to work together and if something about her made him uncomfortable best to just get it out in the open right away.

When she looked back at him he was fixed on her again but this time he didn’t turn. His eyes weren’t on her face, they were traveling over her body with a heated stare, examining her every curve and valley. She felt more exposed than she had when he walked in on her.

Oh.


	7. A Toy Soldier

Evie came bounding back into Haven. How she always seemed to be in such a good mood was beyond Cullen. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but smile upon seeing her.

She returned the greetings of any who gave her one. Blushing when his soldiers stopped their practice to bow as she neared.

When she spotted the Commander she stopped, glancing at her pack. Cullen watched her curiously. She started to move again, only to stop dead. She did this several times before finally shaking her head and moving toward the gates into Haven proper.

Cullen was already back to barking at his soldiers when he heard a throat clear behind him. The Herald stood holding something in her hands.

“I um… I found this while we were near Master Dennet’s. It made me think of you…” Her cheeks were as red as her hair as she thrust the toy into his hands.

Cullen turned the Ferelden Toy Soldier over. It’s little painted face smiling up at him. Cullen didn’t know what to say. That she thought of him at all was shocking enough but to bring him something was unexpected.

“Thank you, Herald. This is-” When he looked up she was gone. Not even a flash of her fiery hair in site.

Back in her cabin Evie sat at her desk, gaping at her hands. Maker, he must think her a foolish child! A toy? A toy soldier!?

Cullen looked back down at the little soldier. A bright smile lighting his face. He tucked it into his belt for safe keeping. Perhaps she thought about him as much as he thought about her after all.


	8. Lost and Found

Evie dropped to her knees in the snow. She couldn’t keep going, it was too much. She was exhausted; it felt as though she had been walking for an age. The snow whipping around her and burning her exposed skin, nothing but the sound of her ragged breathing, her pounding heart, and howling wind to keep her company; she thought it would never end. Yet here it was: the end, _her_  end; she was sure this was it, there was no hope left.

“There she is!”

“Thank the Maker!”

She turned her weary eyes to the chasm before her, watching a group of shadowed figures approach her.  

_They aren’t real, Evie. It’s a trick: a demon or a hallucination. You can’t give in now. If you’re going to die, die in peace._

The figures were close enough now that she could see them clearly. It was Cassandra, Cullen, and a small search party. How cruel was whatever had conjured these illusions? To give her such hope in her dying moment? Evie dropped her gaze back to the snow before her, unable to look at this cruel trick any longer.

_Just close your eyes and let go. It’ll be like falling asleep. It won’t hurt._

Her eyes slipped shut and she let her body go lax, slumping forward. Before she fell into the snow to drift away a pair of strong hands gripped her shoulders. She let herself relax into the hallucination’s warm embrace, there was no use in fighting it any longer; she was already done. A contented smile warmed her face as she allowed herself to slip away.

* * *

“Tell me she’s alive.” Cassandra demanded, peering over Cullen’s shoulder as he held the Herald in his arms.

Cullen looked down at the lifeless body laying across his lap. Her cheeks were snow-burned, her were eyes gently shut, and a soft smile graced her pale lips. He felt fear grip his entire being at the thought of her being taken from them, from  _him_. He brought his hand to his mouth, tugging off his thick glove with his teeth before pressing his fingers into the frigid skin of her neck. Holding his breath, he felt around for a moment as he silently prayed to the Maker to spare her.

A sigh of relief burst from his lips when he finally felt her heart beating under his fingertips. “She’s alive. We need to get her back to camp. Now.”

Without another word, Cullen pulled Evie into to his chest and lifted her from the snow. He wrapped as much of his surcoat and body around her freezing form, protecting her from the cold as he carried her. He kept his eyes fixed on her face the entire walk back, ensuring she would not be lost to him again. Not after he had finally found her.


	9. Flowers and Dragons

Cullen had a million things to do today, chief among them was have Evie sign off on some requisitions for Rylen and the soldiers at Griffin Wing Keep and hopefully spend some time with her. She had been away for nearly a month. He had missed her terribly.

Gathering his papers and smoothing his hair he headed for the main building. Passing through the rotunda and Solas quietly painting another fresco he entered the main hall, ready to head up to Evie’s room.

“She’s not up there.” Cullen spun to Dorian who was sitting in a chair by the hearth with Varric, playing cards. “Where is she?” There was no use in hiding where he had been going or who he had been going to see.

“She went down to the camp in the valley. Something about spending time there. Honestly, I stopped listening when she got that doe-eyed look about her.” He waved a dismissive hand at Cullen without even an upward glance from his cards.

What could she possibly be doing in the camp? There was nothing but soldiers and refugees down there. With a frustrated sigh he turned to head down to there and find out.

“Try not to ravage her in the middle of the camp. There are tents there, you know.” Cullen’s ears burned at Dorian’s shouted words. Maker’s breath, why did he have to do that?

Grumbling to himself the whole way down Cullen arrived at the camp, being greeted by two sentries. “Commander Cullen, ser. What brings you down here?” Cullen leveled the soldier with an irate stare. He didn’t have to explain himself to his own men. The questioning soldier shifted nervously, shrinking under the weight of his Commander’s scrutiny.

“The Inquisitor is further in the camp, ser. She had a basket of flowers and said she was going to spend time with the children.” The other soldier informed him quickly. Still staring down his rapidly shrinking partner Cullen thanked him and headed in the direction Evie was in.

Flowers? For the children? What in blazes did the children down here need flowers for? They needed food and blankets; some needed parents now.

As Cullen neared the center of the camp a chorus of joyful laughter met his ears. There in an opening around a brazier was Evie with a whole mess of laughing children. Each one had a ring of flowers in their hair to match the one Evie wore herself. She played with them, laughing freely as she spun in circles with a group of young girls.

Cullen stopped to watch the scene before him, a foolish grin tugged at his face. Images of Evie running around with blonde curly-haired children, cradling a wee babe in her arms, caressing a swollen stomach all flashed before Cullen’s eyes in an instant.

“Cullen!” Snapped from his trance by Evie’s elated cry he smiled as she moved to him and threw her arms around his neck. “I missed you. Have you been here long? Why are you down?” Cullen laughed at her rapid questioning. Always the curious one.

“I heard you were down here and well…” A blush crept over his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck.

If possible Evie’s smile brightened. “You came to see me?” Cullen’s blush only intensified. “Yes, well, you have been away for nearly a month and- Did you say you missed me?”

It was Evie’s turn to blush now as she lowered her eyes to the dirt below their boots. “Like you said, I was away nearly a month.”

Cullen lifted his hand and cupped Evie’s ruddy cheek; just as he started to lean in for a kiss there was a tug on Evie’s arm.

“Lady Herald, you said we would play dragon fight.” A little boy with dark brown eyes and hair stared up at the pair with an expectant look. “Yes, Sam. We’ll be there in a moment. The Commander is going to play too. If that’s alright with you, of course?”

The boy gave Cullen a suspicious look for a moment before nodding. “That’s fine.” With that he ran off to join the other waiting children.

With an excited smile Evie dragged Cullen over to the circle of children before he could protest. “Is everyone ready to slay the dragon?” The children cheered excitedly, jumping around.

“Lady Herald, he doesn’t have a flower crown. You said everyone needed one.” Cullen was starting to dislike this Sam kid.

“You’re right. How foolish of me!” Evie turned to the basket on the bench, retrieved a ring of white flowers and placed them in Cullen’s golden curls.

“Is this really necessary?” Cullen grumbled. He was soldier, not an Orlesiain dandy; flower crowns didn’t go with metal plate.

“Yes, now hush. You look adorable.” Evie beamed up at him, making him blush once more.

“Alright, time to slay the dragon!” With that Evie called forth two small innocuous flames to her palms and began chasing the laughing children; being mindful to extinguish them when any got too close. She passed Cullen on her run and grabbed his hand in hers dragging him along to help her protect the dragon’s hoard.

* * *

Later that evening they sat snuggled together in front of the hearth in her room.

“You were very good with the children today.” Cullen pressed a kiss into her flower adorned hair. She had insisted they keep the crowns on and he wasn’t about to say no when she looked so striking with flowers in her hair.

A contented sigh fell from her lips and she snuggled deeper into his side. “They’ve been through so much at such a young age. I wanted to give them an afternoon to forget all the hardship and just be children. Makes me sound foolish, doesn’t it? The Inquisitor spending her time playing pretend instead of doing her job.”

“You aren’t just the Inquisitor, Evie. You’re also a kind, caring, sweet woman who is anything but foolish.” She blushed deeply at his adulation. “Besides, part of your job is to inspire. You inspired those children today. And you inspired me, as well.”

“How so?” She looked up into his golden eyes, her expression completely open.

“Well, to make doubly sure the camps remain well stocked and protected. It would be a tragedy if something were to happen to the people down there.” She settled back into his side with a smile.

He would tell her one day how he wanted nothing more than to have her mother his children but for now he was happy to just hold her in his arms, kissing her flowery hair.


	10. Sing

“Will you sing me a song?” Evie's head snapped up to the spirit boy sitting across the fire from her. Through the flickering flames she could see his bright blue eyes watching her, waiting for her to answer him.

“I don't- I mean, what are you-” _How does he know I sing?_

“You're always singing with your heart. And in your head. I want to know if it sounds different with your voice.” A nervous laugh slipped from Evie as she looked away from Cole. She had never sang in front of anyone but her family, the thought of it was daunting. She peered back at Cole, ready to tell him no, or deny she sings at all but his almost hopeful expression changed her mind.

She stood from her spot and skirted around the fire before settling next to him. “Is there a specific song you'd like to hear?” She asked gently.

Cole had a thoughtful expression on his face for a moment before he looked to her. “The song that makes you think of the woman with red hair and the smiling face.”

Evie grinned. She knew exactly who Cole was talking about and what song he wanted to hear. She nodded and began singing.

“ _You are my sunshine_  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away”

As Evie sang, Cole rested his head on her shoulder. She faltered for a moment at the intimate gesture, this act so unlike the spirit she had come to know, but recovered quickly and continued.

“ _The other night dear,_  
As I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms.  
When I awoke dear,  
I was mistaken  
And I hung my head and cried.”

As Evie sang she began to think of home; of her mother singing this song to her every night before bed, of Max teasing her for still needing to be sung to sleep 'like a baby' as he put it, of singing this song while walking through the meadows by her home. Her voice began to quiver as one last memory came to her; laying in her bed alone on her first night in the Circle, singing this song over and over as she cried herself to sleep.

“ _You are my sunshine,_  
My only sunshine.  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey.  
You'll never know dear,  
How much I love you.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.  
Please don't take my sunshine away.”

Evie finished singing and peeked at Cole resting on her shoulder. He was staring into the fire, his hands resting in his lap. He didn't move an inch. Evie began chewing her lip, wondering if perhaps her mother had told her one of the little white lies parents tell their children; that she had a lovely singing voice. Maybe she sounded like a cat being sung by its tail.

“It sounds happier when you sing it with your heart.” Cole finally spoke before rising. “And you don't sound like a cat of any kind. Your mother didn't lie to you.” With that, Cole walkedout of the ring of light surrounding them and into the gloom that blanketed the rest of the camp.

_When I sing it with my heart, I'm home._


	11. Quince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Tumblr: "Flowers and Prompts: Quince - Temptation."

Cullen walked into the war room to find only Leliana and Josephine there. “Where is the Inquisitor? I need to speak with her.” He had requisitions that needed her approval.

“She’s in the kitchens.” Leliana replied without looking up from her own work.

_The kitchens? What would she be doing in there?_ Cullen left with a huff, heading for the kitchens to get his requisitions approved.

When he arrived he found the Inquisitor standing at the wooden table surrounded by bright yellow fruit and holding a bowl of a matching yellow… goo? He really had no idea what it was. She had removed her jacket, leaving her in only a thin tunic and the heat from the stoves had her skin glistening. Cullen followed a single bead of sweat as it rolled down the side her neck, watching as it slid along her exposed collarbone.

“Hello Commander.” Evie chirped, a bright smile on her face. “What brings you down here?” His eyes snapped up to hers quickly.

“I uh, I have some requisitions that need your approval.” He stammered as his cheeks reddened.  _Maker, I should have just waited_.

“Oh. Of course.” She placed her bowl onto the table and wiped her hands on a rag. Cullen handed her the papers, hoping she wouldn’t notice how they shook.

“What um, what are you making?” Cullen asked, peering into the bowl while she perused the papers.

“Just some jam. Feel free to try some.”  Evie didn’t look up as she spoke. She still wasn’t used to being in charge and wanted to make sure everything that she signed off on was thoroughly looked over first.

“Is is safe?” The question slipped out without a thought, making Cullen’s eyes grow wide when he realised how rude it was to ask such a thing.

Evie let out an amused laugh before placing the papers down beside the bowl. “It’s perfectly safe, Commander. I promise. See?”

Cullen watched with eyes still wide as Evie dipped her finger into the jam and brought it to her lips. They parted slowly, revealing her pink tongue before closing around her fingertip. He felt lightheaded as he watched her suckle on the digit; the only sounds he could hear were the roaring of his blood in his ears, his laboured breathing and the wet slurping coming from Evie’s mouth. Her eyes slipped closed and a little moan came from low in her throat. He was sure he would pass out from his blood’s sudden migration south.

Evie pulled her finger from her mouth with a wet pop and smiled up at Cullen. “See? Safe. Would you like to try?”

_Maker, yes_. He thought as he stared at her plump lips. A giggle from Evie brought him out of his trance and he quickly shook his head. “No, no. I-I need to… go. Now.”

“But what about your requisitions?” Evie called as Cullen rushed out.

Cullen raced back to his office, praying to both the Maker and Andraste no one would notice the bulge in the front of his trousers. Once safe inside, he leaned heavily into the closed door; willing his racing blood and racing thoughts to slow.

“Steel my heart against the temptations of the wicked. Make me to rest in the warmest places.” Cullen whispered as he slid his hand into his trousers. That woman really was temptation made flesh and she had no idea.


	12. She Bop

Cullen ascended the stairs of Evie’s tower. It was still early; far too early for it to be proper to visit if he were merely her advisor. But he was more than that, wasn’t he? It had only been a few days since they shared their first kiss and they hadn’t spoken of what it meant. That wasn’t the reason for his visit today, though. An abandoned supply cache had been brought to his attention and he needed her approval to send forces to retrieve it.

He arrived at the door to her room and knocked. When there was no answer, he opened the door and climbed the last few steps into her room without a thought of how improper it was. It may be early but not so early that it was outlandish to believe she would not be awake and ready for the day. He arrived at the top of the stairs and stood dumbstruck at the sight that greeted him.

Evie was still in bed but she was  _definitely not_  asleep. She was tucked under her covers; her eyes were screwed shut, mouth hanging open, scarlet hair splayed across her pillow. One of her hands was gripping the covers while the other was hidden under them.

Cullen’s mouth went dry as he watched the rustling of the covers at her hips. There was no mistaking what she was doing. Her back arched up and the covers shifted as she pressed down into her own hand; a quiet moan filling the silence of the room.

_Maker’s breath_. He could see the outline of her nipples through her thin night gown; hardened and begging for him to touch them; to lick them, to suck and  _bite_  them. Cullen bit back a groan when the hand not between her legs moved to her chest. Her fingertips traced one of the buds slowly, a hushed moan making Cullen bite the inside of his cheek. She pinched it between her forefinger and thumb, whining and Cullen’s head spun.

_I shouldn’t be watching this_ , Cullen thought; trying to will himself to move from where he was anchored to the floor. One of Evie’s legs kicked out, pulling the covers down to reveal even more of her writhing body; the muscle in her abdomen flexed and twitch with her efforts. Cullen ached to have that body pressed to his.  _Definitely shouldn’t be watching this_.

Using every ounce of willpower he possessed, he managed to tear his eyes from her and turn back to the steps when another of her moans stopped him in his tracks. His blood ran cold and his heart started to race even faster.

“Cullen…”

He looked back slowly, assuming he’d find her staring at him with anger or disgust. The blankets were sitting at her hips, barely hiding her hand. Her other hand was gripping her heaving chest, her back was still arched and her were eyes still closed tight.

“Cullen…”

_Oh, Maker_. Her whole body rocked with the movement of her hands as she chanted his name in breathy moans. Cullen’s own hands twitched and balled into fists, fighting the urge to join her; to find out exactly what she was thinking about and give it to her. He wanted to show her all the things he thought about when he was alone in bed, her name on his lips.

Suddenly, Evie’s whole body went rigid, her legs snapped shut and a guttural moan of his name filled the air before she collapsed into the sheets. Her eyes remained shut and a lazy grin spread across her flushed face.

Cullen snapped back to reality when she fell silent. He turned tail and ran from the room as quietly as possible; the sound of her moans and the sight of her body burned into his mind. He rushed down the stairs, resigning himself to the fact that he would spend another unproductive day with nothing but Evie on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to bump the rating up to Explicit because of this one.


	13. Lay Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evie takes care of Cullen.

_Can I lay by your side?_  
Next to you, you  
And make sure you’re alright  
I’ll take care of you  
I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight 

-Lay Me Down by Sam Smith

 

* * *

 

When she arrived he was a mess. She had seen him have trouble before but never like this. She went to his side, easing him back into his chair. He was boiling to the touch and drenched in sweat but he was shivering as if he were out in the mountains with no cloak to keep him warm.

“What do you need?”

His bloodshot eyes met hers and a weak smile graced his dry, cracked lips. “So beautiful, even in dreams…” Trembling fingers ghosted over her cheek.

She smiled gently, taking his hand in hers. “I’ll be right back.” With that she rushed toward the ladder to his sleeping quarters. She gathered everything off his bed and pitched it down into the office. She grabbed a clean tunic and breeches from the chest beside his bed and climbed back down.

He was doubled over in his chair now, clutching his sides, his face in a garbage pail. The room smelled of vomit and he was quietly sobbing.

She placed her bundle on the desk and poured him a glass of water from the pitcher. Kneeling beside him he drank slowing when she pressed the cup to his lips.

“Do you think you can stand?” With a nod he rose on uneasy legs and stood before her swaying. With tender hands she pulled his sodden tunic over his head and eased his breeches off, replacing them with the clean ones.

Once settled back in the chair she went to work. Laying out blankets, sheets and pillows on the floor before his desk. She doubled checked that all the doors were locked then returned to his side, smoothing a hand through his unkempt hair.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He leaned heavily on her as they moved the few steps the sleeping arrangement.

Easing him down first, she slipped out of her boots and coat before laying down beside him.

He immediately rolled over, clinging to her as if she were life itself, cradling his head between her breasts.

She gazed down at him, petting his hair as she sang in a quiet whisper until his shaking stopped and his breath evened, only then did she allow herself to sleep.


	14. Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three connected drabbles that started with a Tumblr prompt.

“Don’t you ever do that again!” Cullen growled as he and Evie entered his office.

“What? Speak to the troops?” Evie shot back incredulously. She had only been chatting with a group of new recruits; six young men from Ferelden. She was telling them about the Inquisition, herself, their Commander. She hadn't done anything wrong.

“You were undermining me.” When he had walked up to the group, Evie was in the middle of telling his new recruits how, despite his yelling and stern expression he was a ‘softie.’ That was moment he stepped in.

“Those recruits were shaking in the boots. I was trying to reassure them that they were doing a good job. You had them thinking they would be sent home.” Evie levelled him with her best attempt at a scowl.

“That's part of training! You have to knock them down to build them back up. You wouldn't understand.” Cullen waved a dismissive hand as he turned from her.

Evie stalked up behind him, giving him a shove that only succeeded in knocking her off balance. “Don't tell me how training works. I was trained by the Circle of Ostwick! No part of my training ever involved ‘knocking me down’. You can train a man without tearing him apart.”

Cullen stared slack jawed at Evie. He had never seen her so irate; not toward anyone, least of all him.

“Don't tell me how to train my soldiers. It's different for a mage.” He shouted back after he had recovered from the shock of her outburst.

“Your soldiers? Last I checked they were the Inquisition’s soldiers.” And I'm the Inquisitor. She left the implication hanging as they stared each other down.

Cullen couldn't believe she was questioning him. He had been training Templars and soldiers for nearly a decade. The training their soldiers had received under his tutelage hasn't failed them yet. She had no right.

“Just don't do it again.” Cullen ordered with an air of finality.

Memories flashed before Evie's eyes; being ten and first arriving at the Circle, being twelve and being allowed in the garden for the first time then having to be dragged from it kicking and screaming. Being fourteen and getting a scolding from the Knight-Commander for stealing flowers from that garden. Templars watching her train, watching her study, watching her eat, watching her sleep. Templars issuing orders to her and her fellow mages. 

She looked up at Cullen once more. “Fine.” She whispered finally, her confidence deflated. “May I go?”

Cullen stared at her shocked and ashamed of himself when he took in her defeated posture. His mouth opened and shut several times; he didn't know what to say, he didn't what had just happened.   
“Yes.” He finally whispered. He wasn't going to stop her if she wanted to go. She was the one in charger here, not him; something she seemed to have forgotten in that moment.

Without another word, Evie turned and left his office, closing the door gently behind her. She headed straight for her room. When she reached the top of the stairs she ran her fingers over the Templar banner hanging outside the door.

There really is no escaping the Circle.

* * *

Dear Cullen,

I’m sorry that we did not have a chance to speak before I left again. I did not like leaving Skyhold when we had not had to chance to resolve our disagreement. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour. You were right. I do not know how to train soldiers for front line combat. I shouldn’t have questioned your training techniques. Cassandra would not have asked you to commander the Inquisition forces if you did not know what you are doing. It will not happen again. I hope we can put this behind us. I miss you and don’t want our reunion to be sullied by an argument that I had no business starting. I hope you will forgive me.

Yours,  
Evie

-

Dearest Evie,

There is no need to apologise. You had every right to question me. You are the Inquisitor. It’s part of your job to ensure our soldiers are getting the proper training and being treated well. I am the one who should apologise. I should not have spoken to you like that. In truth, I enjoyed seeing you stand up for what you believed. I’m sorry for making you feel as though you had cede to me. You clearly felt very strongly about our soldiers’ treatment and I promise to go easier on them. I never want you feel that you can’t come to me with a concern. You are far too important for that. Not just to the Inquisition but to me. If you ever want to tell me anything or simply wish to talk, I am here for you. Always. I miss you too and can’t wait to see you again. Be safe and come back soon.

Faithfully,  
Cullen

* * *

The letters that were exchanged had put Evie’s mind somewhat at ease but not Cullen’s. He still needed to understand what had made her back down that day. She had seemed to lose herself in thought right before she had conceded and he wanted to know what she had been thinking. He needed to know if there was more to that day than an argument. Something told him there was but a letter was not where he would get his answer. He needed to speak with her, see her face when she answered him.

She returned a week later but they did not have a moment alone until a day after that. She came to his office after a meeting with Leliana. He could see she was nervous by the way she lingered in the doorway but eventually she entered. Still, she remained a few paces away from him as they exchanged greetings. She still seemed timid. She was always a little shy but she was usually bursting with stories when she returned. Not today. Today she was quiet.

After a long, awkward silence Cullen found his courage. “Evie, I know you want to put it behind us but I wish to speak about our disagreement before you left.” Cullen could see her shoulders tense at his request but she didn’t leave or refuse so he continued. “You seemed to become… distracted right before you left. If I said, or did anything to upset you I want you to know you can tell me. You can tell me anything.” He closed the space between them and smoothed his hands down her arms, trying to put her at ease.

Evie searched her mind for a way to answer Cullen. She didn’t know how to explain what she had felt that day. For a brief moment she thought about lying to him; telling him he was mistaken but she couldn’t. It wasn’t in her nature to lie and even if it was, Cullen deserved more than platitudes.

“You’re right. I was distracted,” Evie spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. “I was thinking about the Circle, the Templars. How they used to watch me, order me… control me…” She trailed off when she finally met Cullen’s gaze and saw the hurt there.

“I reminded you of being locked in the Circle?” Cullen whispered, his voice full of pain while he pulled away from her. He felt as though he had him punch in the stomach. He stumbled back from her, grabbing onto the edge of his desk to regain his balance. Knowing he had hurt her was bad enough but to think he had made her feel like she had no power at all made him sick.

“Cullen, it’s alright.” Evie rushed to his side, placing her hand over his.

Cullen pulled away from her quickly. “It’s not alright. I-I made you feel powerless. I’m-I’m so sorry.” He had his back to her as he spoke, staring at his hands. The fact that Evie was a mage was something they had both struggled with already and now to find he had reminded her of being controlled by something he used to be was hard to take.

“Cullen, stop. It’s alright. It was only for a moment and it was foolish. You aren’t a Templar anymore. Please don’t be upset. I’m fine, truly.” Evie had moved to stand in front of him. As she spoke she had cupped his cheek and forced him to meet her eye, to show him she really was alright.

Cullen’s eyes darted between hers, looking for any sign that she wasn’t speaking the truth. All he found there was adoration. A relieved sigh fell from his lips before he pulled her into a tight embrace. They held each other in silence for a long moment before Cullen spoke again. “You’re sure you’re alright?”

Evie nodded against his chest, snuggling deeper into the circle of his arms.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” Cullen held his breath as he waited for her response. He didn’t know if he could take anymore in that moment but if she needed to say something he needed to hear it. For both of their sakes.

Evie shook her head slowly. There  _was_  more but she wasn’t ready to tell him. She didn’t fully understand it herself yet. How could she possibly explain to him that she had enjoyed it? Enjoyed having him exert such power over her? How did she explain that when she had returned to her room she had slid her hand down her trousers and relieved the ache he had placed there? She  _had_  felt like she was back in the Circle but the idea that it was Cullen there; telling her what to do, watching her, controlling her had sent a thrill through her she didn’t fully understand. All she knew was that when she was in the Circle she had never enjoyed the Templars telling her what to do, but when Cullen did it she had liked it. A lot.

“No. There’s nothing else.” She whispered. She didn’t like lying but she just couldn’t tell him. Perhaps one day, but not today.


	15. Scars

Evie looked into the mirror before her. Her scrapes and bruises had faded now and the only evidence left from her fall into the Abyssal Rift was a tiny silver line on her right cheekbone. She pulled her hair from her cheek and peered at the scar.

* * *

_Hawke and Stroud shouted back and forth, both insisting they be the one to stay and fight._

_Evie stared at the rift that would lead them home, eyes wild as she struggled to find the answer. The Nightmare Demon was closing in, there was no time. She needed to decide and decide now!_

“ _Stroud.”_

* * *

She snapped her head to the side, unable to look herself in the eye anymore. How could she? How could she make such a decision? It should have been her! They were both proven heroes, they had the mettle to do what needed to be done. She was… She was just a silly girl with flowers in her hair.

She sneered down at her fade-touched hand. That was the only reason she was there. And it was a lie! The Herald of Andraste? She was the Herald of nothing; just a girl in the wrong place at the wrong time. It should be someone else in her place; someone strong, someone sure, some who would make the right decisions. Anyone but her.

* * *

“ _Evie!” Cullen pushed past his men and gathered Evie up into her arms. She returned the embrace but she felt nothing. Normally when Cullen touched her she melted, but in that moment she was numb. “Are you alright? You’re bleeding.” His voice was pitched with panicked concern as he lifted his hand to her bloodied cheek._

“ _I’m fine.” Evie forced a small smile on her face as she dodged his gentle touch. She didn’t deserve his concern, his care. She had just left a man to die alone in the Fade. It should have been her._

* * *

Evie looked back to the mirror. She lifted her hand and traced the little silver line. Dorian and Vivienne had gasped about how her beautiful face had been marked; both insisting she allow them to find a way to have it removed. She had thanked them but told them there was no need; that it didn’t bother her.

The truth was she needed that scar. She needed to remember that day, the lives that had been lost, the sacrifices that had been made. Most of all, she needed it to remind her of what she was: a failure and a murderer.


	16. Shall We Dance?

“May I have this dance, my Lady?” Cullen flashed Evie a handsome grin, gave a courteous bow and extended his hand for her to take. Her heart began to hammer instantly. Her silly dress uniform felt two sizes too small and her tongue felt as though it was made of sandpaper.

“I…” He picked up on her apprehension right away. Straightening his back and clearing his throat nervously he lifted his outstretched hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it awkwardly.

“Yes, well you must be tired from the evenings events. I should let you relax.” He turned to leave but Evie was having none of that.

“Wait, Cullen. I didn’t said no.” Cullen turned back to her. She stood at the banister; hands behind her back, an open, almost vulnerable look on her face.

“Did you, that is to say,  _do you_  want to dance?”

“Yes but…” She trailed off, her focus turned to the marble below their feet. This was foolish. She was foolish.

“But?” What could possibly be stopping her if she wanted to dance with him?

“I can’t dance.” Her murmured confession was spoken more to the tile than to Cullen. An incredulous laugh bubbled up as relief washed over him; making Evie’s cheeks burn. She shouldn’t have said anything. She should have let him go back inside and stayed out here alone.

“Why did you ask me to dance before if you don’t know how? And how can you not know? You said you went home from the Circle every holiday. You must have gone to festivities such as this before?”

“I have been to these sorts of things before, yes but I was never asked to dance. I wasn’t what you might call ‘marriage material.’ I’m a mage. The noblemen weren’t clambering to win my favour.”  Cullen’s expression softened then. He should have known.

Moving to stand directly in front of her he tilted her chin up. “I, for one Lady Trevelyan would have been begging you to dance with me.” If possible her blush intensified at his words. “So would you do me the great honour of stumbling around this balcony with me?”

A bright smile grew on her face as he took her hand, leading her away from the banister. “As long as you don’t mind me stepping on your toes.” Cullen swept her into his arms at she spoke.

“And I hope you show me the same courtesy.” A shining smile broke her face as they moved together.

True to their word they both stumbled through the steps to a barely known dance, laughing and apologising with every stubbed toe. It was the most magical night either of them had in a very long time.


	17. Pendant

Evie bounced in place as she watched Harritt work. She was both excited and nervous;  _what if it doesn’t turn out right? What if Harritt destroys it accidentally? What if I lose it?… What if Cullen doesn’t like it…?_

“All done.” Harritt turned from his work bench and handed Evie the necklace. A simple gold chain attached to an ornamental gold pendant; set in the middle of that pendant sat Cullen’s lucky coin. She ran her thumb over Andraste’s face, smiling as she remembered the night in Ferelden when Cullen had given it to her.

“It won’t fall out, will it? I can’t lose this.” She looked up at Harritt as she clutched her new necklace to her chest.

“Unless you plan on losing the whole thing, it’s not going anywhere.” He assured her.

“Thank you, Harritt. It’s perfect.” Evie beamed as she put it on. She placed her hand over it on her chest. It rested perfectly on her sternum where everyone could see it. “I’m late.” She declared before she ran out of the Undercroft to a war council meeting.

Her heart hammered against her ribcage and butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she approached the door. He would see it for sure but wouldn’t be able to say anything. If he didn’t like it it would show on his face. She didn’t know if she could take that rejection.

Steeling herself, Evie opened the door and walked in, hoping her nerves didn’t show. She took her place at the table, greeting her advisors cheerfully. Slowly she raised her gaze to Cullen. He was looking at the pendant around her neck, a loving warmth lighting his features. His eyes lifted to hers and the look of adoration she received melted her heart.

The meeting came to an end but they both lingered, waiting for Leliana and Josephine to leave. As soon as the door was shut, Cullen pulled Evie into a tight embrace. They held each other for a few moments before Cullen pulled away. He ran a fingertip over the coin; struck speechless. Not only was she wearing it but she was displaying it for all the world to see.

“This way,” Evie explained, lifting her hand to rest over his on her chest. “you’ll always be close to my heart. No matter where I go.”

Cullen pulled her back against his chest, pressing a kiss into her crown. “Thank you.” He whispered into her hair.

“You’re welcome.” Evie whispered back. Though those weren’t the words either of them wanted to say in that moment. Both had three words on their mind.

_I love you._


	18. Full Moon

Cullen stood in the courtyard overseeing the troops training exercises. It was a warm day, warmer than usual for Skyhold’s mountaintop placement. Even just standing around watching the soldiers had sweat beading up on his skin, making him wish he had forgone his heavy plate and fur for the day.

Loud laughter brought his attention from the sparring soldiers to the tavern rooftop, there he saw Evie and Sera sitting shoulder to shoulder. The two girls were tossing what looked like cookies down into the yard below, trying to hit passerby’s. A small smile tugged at Cullen’s lips as he watched Evie try to hit one of the passing messengers only to miss completely, causing Sera break out into uproarious guffaws.

* * *

“Cully Wully is staring at you.” Sera groaned after her laughter had died down again. Evie looked further into the yard to find Cullen looking up at her and Sera. Even from her distance she could see the smile on his face, causing her own smile to grow. “Why don’t you give him something worth staring at, yeah?”

“Like what?” Evie questioned as she looked back to Sera, her eyebrow quirked.

“Your arse!” Sera exclaimed before falling back onto the roof, holding her stomach as she laughed. The very idea of Evie having the guts to moon not only Cullen but everyone in the yard just too funny to her.

Evie stared down at Sera, feeling heat rise to her cheeks; first from the idea of baring her bottom for all of Skyhold then from annoyance that her friend clearly thought she wouldn’t do it. With a look of determination on her face, Evie scrambled to her feet and turned her back to the yard.

She made quick work of the ties on her trousers and before she could change her mind, pulled them and her smalls down to her knees. She stayed bent over at her hips and balanced herself with her hands on her knees, making sure to give everyone a view of her entire arse. She swayed her bottom back and forth, feeling a light breeze caress the exposed skin of her bottom and the backs of her thighs as she looked at Sera, flashing the elf a smug grin.

Sera’s laughter increased tenfold, drawing the attention of everyone down in the yard to her and their Inquisitor’s exposed bum. Evie peeked behind herself then, her cocky expression turning to one of horror when she saw all the faces gawking at her. The realisation of what she was doing dawned on her then and she yanked her trousers back up. She nearly tripped over herself as she raced to the window and back into the tavern to hide, hopefully forever.

* * *

Cullen stared up wide eyed and unbelieving at the place where Evie had been standing. He couldn’t figure out if that had actually happened or if the heat had gone to his head. He glanced around himself to find everyone in the yard still staring at Sera as she continued laughing alone on the roof. It would seemed that that had most definitely happened; Evie had mooned the entire yard, most likely at Sera behest.

Cullen brought a hand to his forehead, wiping away the gathered sweat while his other hand moved to the front of his trousers. He adjusted his half-hard length as subtly as possible while thanking the Maker that he hadn’t forgone his heavy and conveniently concealing armour that day. He had enough to think about now without having to find ways to hide his appreciation for Evie’s bottom.


	19. Inexperience

Evie sat on Cullen’s knee quietly reading reports. She had come into his office without a word and sat down, laid her reports out over his and went to work. Now only thirty minutes later Cullen sat with his hands twitching in his lap, his eyes tracing every curve of her body, itching to touch every inch of soft skin.

She was always trying to get him to take breaks in new and creative ways but this one took the cake. He knew her intentions were innocent but was she aware what her presence was doing to him? How every shift of her body drove him to the brink of madness?

He let out a groan, making her turn. “Am I too heavy?” She asked, sheepishly.

Cullen could only shake his head.

When Evie finally took in the sight of him she couldn’t help but blush. His cheeks were red, his eyes hooded and when her eyes fell to his lap there was a very obvious bulge there.

“Oh.” She immediately turned back. This was all still so new to her. To have someone - to have Cullen - regard her with such need was a little overwhelming.

“Evie…” His whisper sent a shiver up her spine. “Would you care to take a break with me?”

Without turning she nodded, placing her quill down and trying to stop the burning in her cheeks.

His hands moved to her hips as she stood, turning her to face him.

“We don’t have-” He started upon seeing her face and the unsure embarrassment there.

“No! No, I want to. I’m just, you know… new to this…” She moved her gaze to the floor beside him.

He stood and pulled her into his arms. “I know.”

She could feel his arousal pressed to her stomach, making heat flood to the apex of her thighs. She might be new to matters of sex but she knew she liked it.

“Let’s go up top.” She whispered into his chest.

When he nodded she took his hand, leading him to the ladder. As she climbed she heard him quietly groan again. Peeking down she saw him staring from the bottom of the ladder.

Yes, she definitely liked this.


	20. Caged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evie makes a mistake in giving Cullen a gift.

Evie said she had a surprise for him, but it required him to vacate his office for the day. In fact, he wasn’t allowed anywhere near it, so he sat in her room, at her desk, surrounded by her things. It was a nice change of scenery but not knowing what she was up to, what he would find when he returned was eating at him.

The sun had just started to disappear behind the snowy peaks surrounding Skyhold when Evie came to get him. There was an extra bounce in her step as she walked hand in hand with him back to his tower. When they entered, the first thing Cullen noticed was that it was a more tidy than how he left it; many of his books had been placed back on their shelves, said shelves had been dusted, the floor swept, and the windows cleaned.

“You cleaned my office?” He asked, puzzled. There was no way it would have taken from sun up to sun down to do this. His office wasn’t _that_  messy.

Evie gave a dramatic sigh before answering, “Yes, but that’s not the surprise. Go up top.” She shooed him playfully toward the ladder leading to his loft.

Cullen felt a pit of dread in his stomach as he climbed. He knew exactly what he would find when he reached the top; something she had been asking him to do for months now. He had kept telling her he was too busy, that the resources were better spent elsewhere, any excuse he could come up with; anything but the truth.

He stood by his bed now, staring at his patched roof.

“Do you like it?” Evie beamed behind him; clearly very proud of what she had done for him.

He schooled his face, forcing a cheerful smile as he turned to her. “It’s wonderful, love. Thank you.” He knew he should tell her but telling her would be admitting weakness. He couldn’t keep being weak in front of her.

* * *

They stayed in his tower that night; Evie tucked into Cullen’s arm sleeping soundly while Cullen laid wide awake. His hold on to her tighter than normal; she was his lifeline in that moment. The walls were getting closer with every passing minute, the air getting heavier, the closed off roof pressing down on him. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think; every time he closed his eyes he was trapped in a cage again. He needed air, he needed to get out. Now.

Cullen pulled himself from the bed as quickly and quietly as possible. He couldn’t wake her; she would know if she woke. He would return in the morning before she rose, that way she would never know. She needed someone strong, not a man so afraid of confinement he needed a hole in his roof to sleep without fear.

He made it out onto the battlements, shaking and on the verge of tears. The open sky and cool air was helping but he still felt as though he was stifling. He was so thankful there were no patrols near by; he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He felt weak and pathetic; like a fool for thinking he would ever escape this. He couldn’t even sleep in his own bed! He leaned heavily on the stone wall of his tower, his trembling showing no sign of decreasing.

“Cullen?” He froze at the sound of Evie’s voice. She had woken up and followed him and he hadn’t even noticed. He looked over at her standing by the door, she was wearing nothing but his tunic and a look of concern. “Cullen, your shaking. Did you have a nightmare?” She took a step toward him, her hand coming up to console him but he backed away.

“I-I’m fine. Just go back to bed.” He turned his back to her, hoping against hope that she would do as he says. She’s seen him weak enough already, he didn’t want her to see him scared of a roof!

“I’m not just going to leave you out here. Talk to me. Please. I’m here for you.” Her urging words only caused the tears he had been fighting to spill over. He slumped down to the ground, closing his eyes against the tears and the shame.

“I-I can’t… I just can’t…” He choked on a sob, hugging himself as he cried.

“Whatever it is, I’m here.” She knelt down in front of him, a gentle hand on his knee. “Did you have a nightmare?”

He shook his head quickly. How would explain it to her? Would she understand?

“Is it something I did?” He sobbed harder at her worried question. She had meant well. She was just trying to help him and now he’d made her feel as though she’s done something wrong. He was a failure.

When he didn’t respond, only looked to the sky Evie realised what she had done. The roof. He had been locked up for days, weeks maybe; that hole had kept him free, kept him out of a cage and she had put him back in it.

“I’ll be right back.” She gave him a gentle smile before rushing back inside.

Once she was in his loft she grabbed one of his practice swords and climbed up on the bed. She wedged the blade between two of the boards and pulled, loosening them. She wrenched and hacked at the newly built roof as quickly as she could until the stars could be seen through a small hole. She slashed the wood, her arms aching from the effort to bring the sky back into the room. When she couldn’t lift her arms anymore there was a hole no bigger than her head above the pillows. She could only hope that would be enough.

She tossed the dulled and bent blade aside and cleared the debris from the bed before making her way back outside to Cullen. He was exactly where she had left him but his tears and shaking had stopped and his breathing was closer to normal.

“I’m so sorry, Evie. I shouldn’t have-” He tried to apologise for his behaviour but she hushed him.

“Come back inside.” She coaxed softly, offering him her hand. He took it and allowed her to lead him back into his office before following her up the ladder. He could do this. It was just a roof, it couldn’t hurt him. He wasn’t locked up; he was safe with her.

They reached the top and his heart swelled when he saw what she had done. The hole was small but it was there, the stars shining above while the cold air filled the room.

“If it needs to be bigger, I’m going to need your help.” She explained, shyly.

He pulled her into his arms then; relief and gratitude flooding him in equal measure. She understood. Why had he thought she wouldn’t? “It’s perfect.” He whispered into her hair, feeling her relax against him.

“Then come back to bed.” They curled back up together in bed, arms wrapped tight around each other. “And Cullen, next time tell me please.”

He nodded, whispering an “I promise” as he snuggled deeper into her protective embrace, his head nestled between her breasts letting her steady heartbeat calm him further.

With the stars shining above them and the cold air nipping at their skin they both fell into a peaceful sleep.


	21. No Words

Evie stood in the garden. No words; she had no words to explain what she was looking at. Every single flower in the garden had been cut. There was nothing but the green leaves left on all the plants.  _Her_ plants. With a huff, she headed to the tavern. There was only one person who could have done this.

“Sera!” Evie all but kicked in the door to Sera’s room, ready to give her friend hell for wreaking havoc on her precious flowers. “What in the name of Andraste did you do with my flowers!?”

“Oi! What’re you on ‘bout?” Sera looked up at Evie from her seat, confused and a little annoyed.

“My flowers! They’re gone. Every one of them and they didn’t just walk away. It had to be you. Who else would steal all my flowers for no reason?” Evie explained.

“Pfft. What’d I want a buncha smelly flowers for?” Evie fumed at Sera’s mocking question. “Hey! If ya find the guy that done it, send 'em my way. Love ta know how, yeah?.” Sera laughed.

They went back and forth for some time. Evie maintaining there was no one else who would dare, while Sera argued she didn’t have any use for the stinking flowers. Sera was still in hysterics when Evie finally conceded that it hadn’t been her to ransack her garden, and left Sera’s room. If it wasn’t Sera then who did it? There was no one else who would dare.

“Sweet smelling and colourful. They are all her but not… Maybe I shouldn’t have taken them all…”

Evie looked up to the floor above her to find Cole’s piercing blue eyes staring down at her. “Cole?”

“He’s waiting in your room. He’s very nervous. He’s also thinking about things Varric says I shouldn’t tell everyone about.” With that Cole disappeared, leaving Evie gaping at the spot where he once stood.

It took her a moment but finally her mind caught up to what exactly Cole had explained to her. Why did Cullen steal all her flowers and bring them up to her room?

* * *

When she finally made it to the top of her tower, Evie found the door to her room ajar and the strong aroma of flowers wafting through. Rather annoyed she started up the stairs, ready to give Cullen hell now.

“Cullen, why have you stolen all my-” She stopped when she finally made it up the stairs. Cullen stood in the middle of her room, surrounded by dozens upon dozens of flower arrangements.

“You said you didn’t want to do anything for your birthday but Josephine said that I should do something special just for you. I didn’t know what to buy you and there was nothing at the stalls here. I could have taken a trip to Val Royeaux but you said you didn’t want anyone to make a fuss and I thought that might be making a fuss. It’s just that you love the flowers and well… I…” Cullen tried to get it all out in one breath before she yelled - she had looked like she was going to yell when she came up the stairs - but his confession died off when he saw the look on her face.

Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears and her bottom lip was trembling. Maker’s breath! He had made her cry! Of course he made her cry. She loved those flowers and he had just killed them all!

He rushed to her, ready to apologise, to beg forgiveness and promise to make it up to her; he would do anything to make it up to her. However, when he was within arms reach, Evie threw herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips tightly over his as her tears fell.

Cullen stood bewildered as she showered him with kisses while more tears fell and little hiccuped sobs sounded between each kiss. When she finally stopped, Cullen saw that she was smiling the brightest smile he had ever seen.

“So you uh, like it…?” He asked hesitantly.

“Cullen, I… No one has ever done anything so sweet for me. I have no words.” Her tears of joy continued to fall as she spoke, but her beaming smile never faltered.

Their exuberant laughter filled the air, as Cullen scooped her up into his arms and carried her over to the bed to celebrate her twenty-third birthday among the flowers.


	22. Restraint

The first time he secured the restraints around her wrists he was nervous.

She had done research; hidden in her room, reading books that had her flushed and sometimes giggling. She had tried to ask Bull for advice, since he had made it no secret he knew a great deal about these sorts of activities, but lost her nerve every time. So instead she studied and made notes; notes with headers, and bullet points, and quotes from the books she was referencing.

Cullen had blushed reading them; seeing such frank writing on such torrid things in Evie’s elegant script was embarrassing but he read every word. He wanted to make sure that every moment they were together like this was right. He refused to make an error that would hurt her, or worse, break her trust in him. She was surrendering herself to him completely; he would not fail her.

It didn’t make him any less nervous when looked down at her secured to the headboard. He had undressed her slowly before they began; every piece of clothing removed with meticulous care, lingering kisses and soft touches applied to any newly exposed skin. He made sure to worship her body before she surrendered it to him. Now she lay bound and naked under him; completely at his mercy.

She peered up at him with an open expression; green eyes filled with trust and a sweet smile on her lips. Her eyes fell shut and her smile grew wider when he cupped her cheek in his hand, running his thumb along her cheekbone. A contented sigh fell from her lips and she leaned into his caress.

“Say it.” Her eyes reopened to look deeply into his, ready to obey his first order.

“Phylactery.” She whispered.

Her word; if said, he stops. They had long discussions about it. It had to be something she would remember and something she wouldn’t say without truly meaning it. He had suggested something more simple but she insisted that ‘phylactery’ was perfect. Those four syllables were her safety net and his.

He smiled warmly and leaned in to steal a kiss. She lifted her head from the pillow eagerly; her restraints going taut when she tried to reach for him before she relaxed her arms again. He smiled against her lips; using his hand still on her cheek to gently guide her head back onto the pillow. Their lips moved together; both of them pouring all their love for the other into the slow glide of their lips and tongues.

When Cullen finally pulled away, his expression had changed. Gone was the gentle lover; replaced by the man she needed him to be that moment and, when he was being honest with himself, the man he loved being for her.

Their eyes met once more, soft green meeting hard amber. Cullen continued the gentle caress of his thumb over her cheek, the soft touch in opposition with his intimidating stare. That didn’t stop her from leaning greedily into it once more, relishing in the feeling of his calloused hands against her porcelain skin.

“Are you going to be good?” He growled, jerking his hand away.

“Yes, Ser.” She breathed, heat pooling low in her belly under his heated stare.

“Good girl.”

The first time he secured the restraints around her wrists he was nervous but that didn’t stop him from giving them both exactly what they needed.

She needed to lose control and he needed to find it.


	23. Count

Evie walks into Cullen’s office, her head hanging low and her hands clasped in front of her. She waits quietly in front of his desk while he pretends to continue working. They both know he’s lost his train of thought, though; he’s simply making her wait.

When he finally puts his quill down and gives her his attention she keeps her eyes on the floor, her hands held tightly together, her shoulders hunched forward. He frowns when he sees her like this. When she’s done something she knows she shouldn’t have or something that she wishes she hadn’t.

“You were bad.” He states; there’s no need to ask the obvious. Her posture and demeanour tell him more than her words ever could.

Evie nods. She keeps her head down but her eyes flick up to sneak a peek at her Commander. He’s watching her carefully, waiting. She searches her mind;  _what is he waiting for?_

“Have you forgotten the rules, Evie?” He asks gently.

Evie realises what he is waiting for and drops her eyes back to the floor, apologetically. “No, Ser. I haven’t forgotten the rules.”

“Well..?”

“I was bad, Ser.” She whispers.

She always has to confess. By confessing she’s giving him permission. It is one of their many rules. He will not touch her until she gives her permission. She doesn’t have to confess; she can always go to him and say something else, anything else. In those moments he’ll hold her, kiss her, tell her how much he loves her because he knows that’s what she needs when she doesn’t confess.

“Come here.” Cullen beckons as he slides his chair back from his desk.

Evie goes to him without hesitation. Once she’s standing in front of him, he presses two fingers under her chin and tilts her head so their eyes meet.

“Ten.” He whispers and she nods. “Count them.” She nods again.

She lays herself across his knees and waits quietly while he removes his gloves and vambraces, placing them on the desk.

“Ready?” His hand is on her lower back, rubbing soothing circles.

“Yes, Ser.” She always has to tell him she’s ready. He won’t start until she is. He gives her as much time as she needs to ready herself; he stays quiet while she prepares herself both physically and emotionally. This time she answered right away.

He lifts his hand from her back, watching Evie’s entire body tense in anticipation. He slaps her bum cheek firmly and she yelps before quickly breathing out the start of her count.

_One…_

His next slap is to her other cheek, making the sting just as intense as the first and she yelps just the same.

_Two…_

The next two blows have her panting and gripping his thigh. He pauses to soothe her sore bottom with a gentle caress of his hand.

_Three… Four…_

He starts up again when she relaxes her grip. She’s lifting her hips to meet his slaps now. He alternates every smack, giving equal attention to each cheek. Four slaps come in rapid succession.

_Five… Six… Seven… Eight…_

His soothing touch is back. She lays across his lap, her hips squirming under his hand. He reminds her to stay still and she whispers a quiet apology.

_I’m sorry, Ser._

He smiles gently as her hips settle and tells her what a good girl she is. Evie allows herself to smile at his praise. Her smile stays in place as she counts out the next slap.

_Nine…_

Cullen watches her carefully now. Her whole body is relaxed and he can see the smile lighting her face. Whatever it was that was troubling her is far from her mind now. His smile grows wider knowing that he was the one to soothe her aching soul. He raises his hand and delivers the final slap.

_Ten…_

Cullen give Evie a moment to catch her breath before he coaxes her up into his arms. She snuggles close to his chest, tucking her head under his chin and lets her eyes fall shut.

“Thank you.” She whispers, already starting to fall asleep in Cullen’s protective embrace.

“I love you.” He presses a kiss to the top of her head and cradles her in his arms as she sleeps.


	24. Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end half of a longer drabble but the beginning was just terrible.

“When the times comes you will be thrown into his path again. Andraste preserve me, I must send you to him.” His voice softened and he wouldn’t look at her. Evie understood in an instant.

He was scared. So was she. The thought of leaving him when she’d only just found him was almost too much to bear. But she couldn’t think like that right now. She needed to be strong. For him, for her, for everyone.

Her lips quirked into a small small. “There’s nothing to worry about. I have luck on my side, remember?” She gestured to the Andrastian coin hanging around her neck. It had protected her through some of her worst fights since that night in Ferelden. It would protect her through her last fight.

Cullen let out a small laugh. “That’s less comforting than I’d hoped.”

He reached for her then and she eagerly went into his arms. Her arms wrapping around his shoulders, fingers burying themselves into his fur mantle. As he wrapped his arms around her she pressed herself as tightly to him as she could. If this was to be their last embrace then she would make it count.

“Whatever happens you will come back.” He whispered as he buried his face in the side of her neck.

The conviction in his voice made her believe it. She would return to him. They would do the things they had talked about doing. They would go to South Reach to see his family and to Ostwick to see hers.

And she would tell him all the things she was too shy to tell him. Like how she adores that he talks in his sleep, and how she used to write her reports in Haven where she could watch him. And all the times she asked him to clarify the military lingo in his reports were falsities – she knew the lingo she just didn't know how else to approach him when he was still just Commander Cullen.

Tears stung her eyes at the treacherous thought that none of this could happen. She steeled herself and spoke.

“I certainly hope so.” She wanted to tell him she promised but she couldn't. She never broke her promises and that was one she didn't know if she could keep.

“The thought of losing you… I can’t…” His voice broke as he pulled her even tighter into his arms.

She turned her face into his neck and breathed him in. She would remember this moment. She would remember the taste of his skin on her lips, the tickle of his fur on her one cheek and the scratch of his stubble on her other, the smell of him – leather, Silverite and the distinct scent that was purely Cullen.

She would carry her memories with her. Their first kiss – her first real kiss ever. Their first night together. How gentle and sweet he was. How he made her feel as though she were more than a mage, more than the Herald and Inquisitor, that she was the most beautiful woman in all of Thedas. The look in his eyes as she breathed his name. The way he groaned hers as they moved together.

Corypheus could take her life but he could never take these memories from her. She could go to the Maker’s side knowing what it was to be loved truly and wholly.


End file.
